I'm as into saving the world as the next gal.  I recycle and I even have a compost bin, but I'm not sure I'm ready to take the next step.  Soon, however, I may find myself using pee-rechargeable batteries.  

I call bullshit. I call bullshit on everyone with a Bluetooth headset for their phone. I don't think those things work at all. I think what's really going on, the secret no one wants to talk about, is that we as a nation are facing an epidemic of paranoid schizophrenia the likes of which have never been seen. 

I can't go anywhere these days without somebody stopping me on the street, saying “I just lost my job AGAIN! And my bosses keep telling me I have a big mouth. What am I doing wrong?” To this I usually say, “I have no idea. Maybe you have a big mouth. And why are you telling me this? Do I have 'employment counselor' written on my forehead? I don't know you.”

I’m a girl. When I pee I like to sit down. Preferably on a clean toilet seat, but I’m just finicky like that. Boys can pee both sitting AND standing. Not fair. I suppose when put between a rock and hard place I too could stand, though I doubt I would be able to ring anything, much less the toilet! I also doubt it will be the cleanest or neatest spectacle ever witnessed. Luckily, I haven’t been stuck in this situation in years - not since I was much younger. Ok, it happened just last year on the 4th of July. 

I hate these guys.  The ones that talk about their favorite sports team like they're on it.  Like they're the starting point guard or something.  Like they're the reason their team plays  ... 

Moving to the city has meant that one section of society has become increasingly prominent in my day-to-day living - the homeless. These guys are a fascinating bunch and, without pity or patronising, I'll take you through my guide to the tramp.