On a recent trip, I visited the "Magic Kingdom" in Anaheim.  Unfortunately, one of the only impressive "magic" tricks I saw, was the ease at which they took large sums of my money.

Really the only other “sleight of hand” that I witnessed was the difference at how Disneyland treated the “Americans with disabilities Act."  Let me explain:

Most attractions actually have 3 different lines.  1 is for the foreigners where they just walk up and wait for an hour until they reach a sign that says "45 minutes from this point."

I can smell a manipulation a mile away. There’s a certain way people hesitate in formulating a sentence, in the passive-aggressive way they swirl a lie around and around in their mouth like a velvety 1999 Chateuneuf du Pape.

What is funny to me is that when people’s manipulations do not work, they keep trying. You can tell them it’s none of their business and what they hear is “Help me, I’m an idiot and can’t figure out what to do.”

I get schloads of free magazines at my spa all the time. They send them to spas and salons frequently because it boosts circulation, therefore allowing them to charge more to advertisers. Recently I got one that calls itself ”America's #1 Gay Men's Magazine” and the gay version of Details magazine. I brought it home to page through out of curiosity and to see how the other half of the other half lives.

Based on the magazine, features and ads, this is what I gleaned interests the average young, gay, man.

Going to a family reunion when you're inducted into a whole new tree can be the most dangerously arousing thing for your mind.  Here's what I mean: How many hicks does it take to keep a door closed?

Apparently it takes the whole family.

Recent news that the Iranians had photoshopped extra missiles into a picture to make it appear that they were more bad ass than they actually are got me thinking.  What if you could Photoshop emotion into your pictures?  Remember your Prom night picture? There you are looking all handsome in your rented tux; too bad they forget to hem your pants.  

The look on your face tells the viewer that you are less than pleased, which causes them to investigate.  Why would this young man look so upset on such a festive day?  Well, look at his pants!  No wonder he's scowling.  Didn't he try them on before he left the tux shop? No? Oh. Well, serves him right then.