It takes a lot of schooling to be a doctor.  First you have to get your undergraduate degree, then go to graduate school, then get into med school.  And because competition is so tough, you need almost perfect grades the whole way.

I have a lot of respect for doctors and all they do.  I don't mind calling them "doctor."  But the line has to be drawn somewhere.

I recently had a man write to me on my blog and ask me to send him my dirty panties. I'm not sure what he wanted them for. Maybe he's a bit of a clean freak and likes to wash and launder them and send them right back. Or maybe he doesn't.

But what quite annoyed me was that he wasn't prepared to pay for the privilege of sniffing my smalls. He claimed that he had not ejaculated for a month and wanted some lady bloggers who he was keen on to send him their panties so that he could have an explosive wank, maybe against a backdrop of fireworks on the forth of July?

It's that time of year again, when summer is heating up and barbecues are in full swing. Family and friends from all over will gather for food, fun and celebration. In preparation, I've composed a fun-filled list of games that everyone can enjoy as you celebrate our country's independence.

 NOTE: Read carefully and play at your own risk.

I read in the paper where a bald eagle in Idaho got an artificial beak because a poacher shot hers off.  Excuse me?

I know bald eagles are an endangered species and whatnot.  And I know it's not the eagle's fault she got shot ... but a prosthetic beak?  I don't want to sound like an insensitive prick ... but I call bullshit.

I see what's coming next.  The eagle can't procreate because the other bald eagles make fun of her new beak, call her names like "metal nose" and "big honker."

Recently, I walked into the bathroom to witness my son in the tub, peeing into a cup -- and giggling -- and I didn't know whether to be disgusted or proud.

So I was both.

Peeing in unusual spots is one of the primary benefits of being male, and one that countless males enjoy on a daily basis -- it's why we like camping so much. Yet the ability takes an unfortunately disgusting development path through boyhood. Upon discovering this ability, young boys take full advantage, peeing pretty much anywhere they see fit so long as it doesn't get them arrested. And even then that doesn't always matter.

A few years after unleasing Weapon X at Easter Brunch, Weapon X and her BFF #1 managed to break our Sega video game player. They both claimed innocence and still to this day admit they have no idea of HOW they broke it, just that they did. The hubs has never quite recovered -- he still mourns some of the games we can never play again. The kids loved the games, too, so I have to believe it was done without malice. But still, the tide was turning.

It turned fully a couple of years ago. BFF #1’s neighborhood does an annual Memorial Day Weekend bash. It's huge, well attended, and we’ve come as guests for years now. In addition to a pool, volleyball, shuffleboard and a rec room, this place also has a sauna.

Or it did.