I learned long ago that having a head full of knowledge isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sure it has its perks. I certainly would never have been able to woo my wife were it not for my cranium of lady-killing obscure sports knowledge. (Back then I loved to win the women over with my recital of the 10 best seasons by a field goal kicker in college football history, with Sade's “Smooth Operator” playing in the background.) 

Okay, I was thinking about what the definition is of a good wife. I think I am a pretty good wife, but that is by my own definition, and admittedly very lax. I have weeks on when I am good and then I have weeks, or, er, months off where I just let the dust and dirt and piles of toys build up everywhere and don't even notice let alone care. I admit I couldn't give a monkey's ass about cleaning, apart from bathrooms and toilets, because, well, my dad didn't clean his toilet for years and the memory of his brown encrusted toilet bowl has scared me for life. 

I realize I’m a big girl. I’ve never tried to deny that like some people might – and you know exactly who I’m talking about! There are people who live in their own fantasy world and I’ll admit I’m jealous. I knew a girl once who wore clothes that she REALLY shouldn’t have been wearing. Then she lost a lot of weight – though I hear she’s still chunky and gaining it back – and I swear the clothes got shorter and tighter! 

Have you ever wondered why slapstick comedy is so timeless?  Why is a dude catching a wiffle ball between his nads so funny?  We wince as we watch it but we also double over from laughter.

I don't normally write because, well, I own this joint and it ain't my job to write.  But I have a friend named Jeff who just underwent a pretty miraculous surgery the other day and I feel compelled to share it with you. 

I am from Tennessee. Despite what the media would like you think I do not live in a rusted out trailer in the backwoods surrounded by "Do Not Trespass" signs and dogs of various parentage. I have electricity in my home; high-speed internet and good cable even. I do not cook things up in various pots in the backyard nor do I have a moonshine business running illegally anywhere on my property. 

Have you ever seen or heard about somebody doing something a little strange and the first thing that popped into your mind was, how did that guy come up with the idea and the guts to try that? That's certainly the first question that came to mind the first time I watched a kid shove a nickel up his nose and snort it with a force that seemed to drive his eyeballs into his forehead until he produced this same nickel out of his mouth!

I read an article the other day about how, after age thirty, your brains starts shrinking and your memory begins to fade.  Things we remembered without a problem for years are suddenly harder to recall.  The name of that band that played that song is still there, it just takes longer to access.