In the beginning God created the universe, the earth, and so on and so forth.  Then he got to Eve.  Eve was called Eve for a good reason.  She didn’t start functioning until evening.  If electricity had existed back then, the lights would have been on but Eve wouldn’t be home.  She was the first night owl.  God told Adam, who happened to be a lark, “Enjoy the day and the night, for they are both my creations.”  But then that damned snake, who was also a morning creature, came along.  Eve ate the forbidden fruit, and God was angered.

My three year old nephew, Joey, is quite a unique kid.  He's inquisitive and intelligent and energetic.  And like most children, he finds wonder in life's mundane moments.  Hence, the question, "Is that monkey poop?"

Where he comes up with this stuff I'll never know. 

The Nielsen Rating System is used to determine how many viewers are watching a particular show, which in turn directly decides how much networks can charge for advertising, which then determines if the show is worth producing, i.e. is it making us money?  The system is entrenched in America and it's a load of crap. 

Have one thing in common.  They can both pull off the lone mustache.  That's right gay guys and country boys can have the mustache by itself.  Occasionally a black guy can also pull it off but if you see a white guy and he's got just the mustache ten times out of ten he's decked out in either camouflage or Banana Republic. 

What is it with arts & entertainment having such a huge impact on society when really, everyone I talk to says they don't have time to watch TV, or that they hate TV, or that they would rather sit around and watch paint dry then watch tv? And on top of this, and if no one actually watches TV, then why is everything that everyone says always described by something they've seen on TV? 

Remember the old saying, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” This saying was around when our parents were starting to date and, of course, has been passed down. First let me just say, being the chubby girl that I am, I don’t appreciate the cow/milk analogy. I mean, couldn’t it just as easily have been chicken and eggs or anything else for that matter? But I digress. 

I was born with curly hair. Actually, that’s not true. I was born bald. It was shortly after that the afro arrived. It has been my constant companion ever since. We have made our peace, but it was a long time coming. 

I go through a general process whenever I buy something that requires installation or assembly. It goes like this:

1. Return home excited at the prospect of the new product and rip it open five nanoseconds after I get home in spite of any other plans I may otherwise have.

2. Read the directions.

3. Curse loudly.