Encounters with morons are a given in retail jobs but I think I have an example that just might take the cake.  

Years ago I had a job as a stocker in a grocery store.  One night, while waiting for a truck to come in, the stock crew was killing time facing the store. For those of you unfamilliar with the term facing, this is where we go through the whole dammed store and make sure every product is facing the right way.  It’s torture. 

Have one thing in common.  They can both pull off the lone mustache.  That's right gay guys and country boys can have the mustache by itself.  Occasionally a black guy can also pull it off but if you see a white guy and he's got just the mustache ten times out of ten he's decked out in either camouflage or Banana Republic. 

If it weren't for jewelry store commercials I might not feel so strongly about this.  Diamond advertisements are so terrible.  What is it about expensive rocks that make them represent love and commitment?  I think it's disgusting. 

Tigers are amazing animals. They look graceful strolling across a grassland, yawning and seeming at peace. But let's face it, they are much more exciting when they are ferociously chasing down a lunch victim. If this wasn't the case the Nature Channel wouldn't constantly air shows like Tigers: Predators in the Wild. 

Have you ever seen or heard about somebody doing something a little strange and the first thing that popped into your mind was, how did that guy come up with the idea and the guts to try that? That's certainly the first question that came to mind the first time I watched a kid shove a nickel up his nose and snort it with a force that seemed to drive his eyeballs into his forehead until he produced this same nickel out of his mouth!