There are very few people in the world who are able to do exactly what they want as far as careers are concerned. When I was little I wanted to be a model. Once I realized that I wasn’t pretty enough, I decided that I wanted to be a fashion designer. Then when I was a senior in high school I was in the school play and got a taste of acting. It was then that I decided that I wanted to be an actor. Of course, in-between all of these aspirations were OTHER aspirations, like: an oceanographer, a lawyer, an artist, a writer – really I could go on and on.

My Mother has claimed to have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) for years now. She would tell me how she would start a project and before completion, her mind would wander and the project would lie untouched, unfinished for days, weeks, forever. I never could understand why she, and so many other people, instantly jump to ADD. Hasn’t anyone ever heard of good, old fashioned boredom? It’s part of the reason, lack of time being the other reason, why we don’t sit and read an entire book in one afternoon. Everyone needs a break at some point!

My mother’s middle name is Victoria. My middle name is Victoria. When and if I have a daughter – from my mouth to God’s ear - I want to name her Isabella Victoria. It’s a nice, normal name but still not a common name. If you already have kids, did you have a hard time thinking of a name? If you don’t have kids yet, do you already have a name picked out and ready for when and if you do have kids? I realize it’s more of a girl thing, but work with me here. 

How The First Grade Scarred Me For Life. 

Last night, while watching a little kid hit his dad in the “twig and berries” instead of a piñata, on America’s Funniest Home Videos, I suddenly had what some might call a childhood memory. I call it one of many horrible childhood flashbacks.

My first grade teacher was a bitch. I was actually happy when, as an adult, I had heard she died. She does, I’m quite sure, currently reside in Hell, thus making me feel quite sorry for Satan himself. 

Have you ever been asked the question, “if you could be any animal in the world, what animal would you be?” It’s one of those dumb questions that always seem to pop up when trying to get to know someone. I think the better question would be “what animal are you most like?” Because if you’re asking me what animal I want to BE like, I would say a tiger. Why? Because they are predators and if they want something, they take it. End of story. I can understand that.