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- F. Lawrence Caslin
Moooooog35

Moooooog35 is a short guy who lives in Southern New Hampshire. He has never had sex with a cow, contrary to what his police record says.

He has two kids, a beautiful wife, and a small dog that he kicks regularly and who he would like to die soon (as he's tired of picking up her sh*t from his lawn...although, the peanut-butter-on-his-penis thing really is quite a perk in having a pet).

You can find him online, blogging away, at:  Mental Poo



What Automobile Stuffed Animals Say About You PDF Print E-mail
Written by Moooooog35   
Monday, 05 May 2008

ImageImageToday, as a service to our readers, I present to you the following "Clip N Save" section.

"What the stuffed animals on your dashboard say about you."

Much like people analyze the content of their dreams, I have come up with a way to determine someone's personality by merely looking at the number and type of stuffed animals they have displayed inside their cars.

I know, you've been dying for this stuff.

You're welcome.

Here we go:

***** Cut here *****

Read more...
 
Celine Dion and My Sphincter: Separated at Birth PDF Print E-mail
Written by Moooooog35   
Sunday, 27 April 2008

ImageImage"She looks like my ass."

The above little gem was spoken to my wife as we walked (I'm sorry..as SHE DRAGGED ME) through a local department store.

I hate shopping.

I would rather watch a lesbian porn movie starring Rosie O'Donnell and Janet Reno than go shopping.

Unless it's shopping for a TV...

...then you can replace Rosie and Janet with, say, Carmen Electra and Scarlett Johansson.

Read more...
 
Mighty - like a four-year-old girl PDF Print E-mail
Written by Moooooog35   
Wednesday, 23 April 2008

ImageImageThe chicks go crazy for guys who can hoist soup cans...

...two at a time.

So. Hot.

I began therapy this week (no..no...not mental or sexual (but not like I couldn't use either)) for my shoulder.

I hate physical therapy.  I've done it before.

It worked so well the first time, that my shoulder apparently decided that it missed it and wanted to go back.

But I digress...

Read more...
 
Raisins are People - the poem PDF Print E-mail
Written by Moooooog35   
Tuesday, 15 April 2008

ImageImageRaisins are People.

Don't believe me?  Yeah...probably a good idea.

However, when you have children, there's all kinds of things you can corrupt their minds with.

Lying, I find, is the fastest and most efficient way to do this.

Read more...
 
Lavender Balls and Coconut Wiggly PDF Print E-mail
Written by Moooooog35   
Wednesday, 09 April 2008

ImageImageI smell like a goddamn fruit basket.

Let me explain.

I was taking a shower the other night, as I'm sometimes wont to do, when I realized that it was my monthly duty to use some type of soap product.

(Usually, I just wash my hair, and then let the soap clean me off via gravitational pull as it drains down my body towards the sperm-clogged drain (hey...first things first))

I looked down at the soap dish in the shower (after five minutes of trying to remember where it was), and saw a simple, sad, soap-Chiclet sitting there.

Read more...
 
Hot Sh*t PDF Print E-mail
Written by Moooooog35   
Thursday, 03 April 2008

ImageImageI'm not that picky.

No, I'm not talking about my penchant for cheap, ugly whores.

I'm talking about my coffee.

I was listening to the radio the other day, when a coffee commercial came on. 

One of the jackasses getting paid more money than I do to talk about a F*CKING BEVERAGE said:

"..it means I like 100% Arabica bean coffee."

Read more...
 
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Spreading Stanley

Friday, 07 March 2008 | Mother Theresa

article thumbnail I woke up this morning with that feeling.  No, not the spinning, dizzy in the head hangover feeling, the other feeling, the one that means I’m getting sick.  It starts with that...
>> Read More >>

Lavender Balls and Coconut Wiggly

Wednesday, 09 April 2008 | Moooooog35

article thumbnailI smell like a goddamn fruit basket.Let me explain.I was taking a shower the other night, as I'm sometimes wont to do, when I realized that it was my monthly duty to use some type of soap...
>> Read More >>

Elephants And Tigers And Me. Oh My!

Thursday, 20 March 2008 | Mimzie Beaumont

article thumbnailHave you ever been asked the question, “if you could be any animal in the world, what animal would you be?” It’s one of those dumb questions that always seem to pop up when trying...
>> Read More >>

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