When my friend Kiki lived in the same state as me, her life was reasonably normal. Well, for her. But suburban Ohio’s turning out to be more exciting than first assumed.

Kiki’s settling into life in Middle America somewhat. Sure, she’s being eaten alive by the mosquitoes and other bugs -- even though her husband, Tom, and their boys seem immune. But really, Doc Walt has some great insect repellent down at the bait shop. And soon he really thinks he’ll find the right combo that will work for Kiki.

But it’s not all bugs where Kiki lives. Because, it turns out, Kiki lives on Strange Stripper Street.

My friend Kiki is still adjusting to her special, beyond split-level home in the wilds of Ohio. And, in her own inimitable fashion, she’s not doing so well.

She’s managing to deal with the fact that the house has no level surface anywhere. She and the rest of the family have pretty much adjusted to it. Sure, they all walk funny for a little while after they leave the house, but Kiki thinks the physical therapy sessions the grade school forced the boys into will be good for them, no matter what. And Kiki’s getting quite fond of Doc Walt. He always has new merchandise in his Bait and Tackle shop whenever she’s there to get stitched up. He even gave the boys free fishing lessons.

My friend Kiki is in a new house in a new state. A lake house. But, before you get envious, like I was, there are…considerations with this particular house.

In Kiki’s defense, she didn’t pick the house out. Her husband, Tom, took care of that. And, you know, he’s male and so he looked for different things. Two stories, plenty of space, bedrooms for the kids? Of course. Manly wood paneling all over? Check. Awesome location between lake and woods? Double check. Wildlife for Maggie, Stoner Pooch, to chase and the kids to at least take a gander at? Total check.

Announcement to Handheld Electronics Manufacturers -- You’re Idiots

I just discovered that the iPhone has a distinct problem. Because the iPhone was created to use skin-against-screen technology, a good portion of the population cannot use it.

Why is this? Well, a lot of women have these things called ‘fingernails’ at the end of their fingers…and the nails don’t work on the iPhone. So unless they want to dial with their toes, noses, or significant others, they can’t use this flashy, expensive item.

My friend, Kiki, is moving. This makes me sad, because I liked hanging with her. But what I’m losing in proximity I’m gaining in travel-related tidbits. And other tidbits.

Kiki and I had a lively chat this evening. She was in Albuquerque (insert Bugs Bunny joke here) and wanted to tell me about this first leg of their trek to the wilds of Ohio.