I'll admit it ... I'm a grown man, and I enjoy playing video games.  There is a satisfaction to "virtually" killing 13 year old pimply punks who are screaming "yo mamma" every time they lay you down with a line of auto machine gun fire (to be completely honest, most of these pimply-faced teens wipe the "virtual" floor with my dead body).

I'll jump online and play for 10-20 minutes every other day or so.  It's slightly therapeutic, and instantly gratifying.  Heads roll, blood sprays, bombs explode.

I've recently learned that there is a completely different side of online gaming to which I have had no exposure.  I am speaking about "World of Warcraft."

You're sitting at home with your family.  You've just enjoyed a home-cooked meal, and are relaxing to a little evening television.  Suddenly the door-bell rings and you saunter over to the front door.  You open it to find a stranger selling their wares.  Oddly enough, you're intensely interested in what they're selling, and find the prices to be more than fair.  You purchase on the spot!!

Yeah right!!  Unless it is a door-to-door prostitute, this scenario will never happen.  In fact, the exact opposite is generally true.

You sigh out loud when you see the salesperson.  You try to interrupt their "presentation" before they get rolling.  You continually get harassed by their 3rd and 4th attempt after you refuse.  At least you can hang up on phone solicitors.  The ones that show up at your door are a tougher lot to shoo away.

For years I've never really listened to a single pitch by a salesperson.  They don't get much more than 30 seconds at the door before I shoo them away.

But this all changed one summer afternoon.

Halloween is tonight and there are some hard-and-fast lessons that I've learned through the years.

I urge you to follow my advice lest you end up on the trick end of tonight's festivities.

1.  Don't go trick-or-treating if you are in the thick of puberty.

I have a separate candy stash that is just for the "too-old" kids.  You'll receive my choice of a single smarties package, a single small tootsie roll, or a "pretend" candy as I stick my hand in your bag and "flick" it with my finger giving the illusion that you actually received something.  If you're 15, you should be escorting your little brother, or at a party with friends.  You should not try to be mooching my full-size candy bars that are for cute little kids in costume.  The double whammy is if you are 15, and show up in one of your older brothers football shirts in hopes of getting candy while putting the very smallest amount of effort into putting on a real costume ... You'll only receive ridicule from me. (perhaps this is why my pumpkins are always getting smashed)

As a kid, I thought that I had learned everything I needed to know about sex.

My sources of information came from porno mags found in car wash garbage cans, gleaning statements here and there from older boys, and watching the Benny Hill show.

Years later I realized that I may not have known the whole story ...