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  I hate driving.
In fact, if I didn't hate environmentalists SO much to want to piss them off, I'd probably leave my 1972 Cadillac at home and ride a bike. But, since nothing pleases me more than to piss off a hippy, I actually make it a point of driving that gas-guzzling piece of sh*t more than I have to. But I digress...
The other day, I was driving to work (yes, male prostitutes DRIVE to their "Janes"), and noticed that the car in front of me had a vanity plate.  The ultimate vanity plate I H8 Vanity Pl8s. This one said: "5CATS" 5 Cats. How truly, truly sad. I didn't realize that the freaky old lady in the neighborhood actually had a car. I thought she just stayed in, got "Meals on Wheels" and watched Judge Judy. I began thinking of alternate plates this person could have gotten instead of "5CATS", like: "SINGLE" "ALONE" "CREEPY" "SAD" "NEEDHLP" "MENTAL" "FELINOPHILE" ("Aroused by Cats" - I realize that there are two many characters in this one, but may be applicable if said user has two cars and can break it up (doubtful - see "ALONE" plate above) or lives in Sweden. "ILKPUSSY" This last one would be for the sad, alone, male felinophile who needs some serious, serious help. I know you're out there, dude. Maybe I can hook you up with the freaky lady in my neighborhood. You can share a Meal on Wheels and watch Judge Judy together. Let me know if you need me to pick you up. I'm looking for another excuse to take the Caddy out for a drive. |
Moooooog35
