Warning: You are not seeing this page (or the rest of the web) correctly. It is recommended that you upgrade to standards-compliant Firefox.
spacer.png, 0 kB

spacer.png, 0 kB

Scrivel.com, The Super Funny Happy Special Website.

- F. Lawrence Caslin
Moooooog35
The Moooooog hails from somewhere in New England and works for a large conglomerate as a professional doorman. He views life through rose-colored glasses but only because he's too lazy to clean them. Moooooog35's website
Hot Sh*t PDF Print E-mail
Written by Moooooog35   
Friday, 04 April 2008

ImageImageI'm not that picky.

No, I'm not talking about my penchant for cheap, ugly whores.

I'm talking about my coffee.

I was listening to the radio the other day, when a coffee commercial came on. 

One of the jackasses getting paid more money than I do to talk about a F*CKING BEVERAGE said:

"..it means I like 100% Arabica bean coffee."

Ah. 

You like ARABICA BEAN coffee. 

Thanks for clarifying. 

Two questions immediately popped into my head:

1) How do I get a job making money while I talk about liquid?

2) What the f*ck is an Arabica bean?

I assume that an Arabica bean is like a Mexican jumping bean...

...except it comes from the middle east, rides a camel instead of a Pinto, and is more inclined to be racially-profiled as a terrorist rather than a lazy prick with 14 kids who can't speak English and is stealing American jobs.

ImageAt least, that's what I'm assuming it is.

Honestly, I don't really care.  I couldn't care less about my coffee.

Find some guy named "Coffee," grind him up, pour some hot water over him, and I'd still drink it.

Coffee. 

I don't care what it tastes like, what country it emigrated from, or how many e-coli infested non-hand-washing immigrants picked the beans themselves.

My coffee simply has to adhere to the following strict criteria:

1) Be hot

2) Be called "coffee"

3) Have caffeine

Drinking decaffeinated coffee, to me, makes as much sense as drinking non-alcoholic beer (or spending money to WATCH people have sex...not that I've actually done that).

4) Contain the miracle property of being able to induce my morning poop.

Other than that, I don't care if my coffee tastes like Richard Simmon's ass after a "Sweating to the Oldies" marathon.

In fact, it can even steal my job...

...because I've got an interview for a voice-over tomorrow touting a drinkable laxative. 

Wish me luck. 

If it works out, this whole coffee discussion may be moot...at least in regards to item #4.

 





Reddit!Del.icio.us!Facebook!Slashdot!Netscape!Technorati!StumbleUpon!Newsvine!Furl!Yahoo!Ma.gnolia!Free social bookmarking plugins and extensions for Joomla! websites! title=
Comments
Add NewSearchRSS
Southern gal - just a shoutout... IP:71.xxx.xxx.xxx | 2008-05-30 04:10:51
mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oog!!!!

... I think that was just about 35 o's. Perfect.

Signed: having a cup now... of warm piss. Not hot, warm. And, it's caffeinated cuz I just got finished with my coffee, so that's good. So, I guess you could classify my 'sample' as Arabica Piss-ica. It has a bold, new, arromatic flavor (ok, pungent) that really kickstarts your morning! You're somewhat cross-eyed, but wide awake! Top of the mornin' to ya laddie!
Southern gal IP:71.xxx.xxx.xxx | 2008-05-30 04:13:32
... make that "aromatic."

Webster's #1 bitch
Write comment
Name:
Title:
Security Image

Powered by JoomlaCommentCopyright (C) 2006 Frantisek Hliva. All rights reserved.Homepage: http://cavo.co.nr/

 
< Prev   Next >
spacer.png, 0 kB


Intimately Photoshopped

Monday, 14 April 2008 | Mother Theresa

article thumbnail Will the owner of Victoria Beckham’s butt please stand? Not her real butt.  I’m talking about the one that appears in that perfume ad she and Becks have out.  It’s...
>> Read More >>

Oh No, Here Come The Diet Police

Wednesday, 05 March 2008 | Emma K

article thumbnailThis dieting thing is really no fun, but since I am thinnish now, I will have to keep it up until the dawn of time. It is just a question of mindset. I mean, when I got married, sure, I could lust...
>> Read More >>

My Team Is Better

Sunday, 10 February 2008 | F. Lawrence Caslin

article thumbnailI hate these guys.  The ones that talk about their favorite sports team like they're on it.  Like they're the starting point guard or something.  Like they're the reason...
>> Read More >>

Other Articles

actually   around   bad   because   big   car   children   day   doesn   dog   door   everyone   friend   girl   god   guy   hair   hav   home   husband   kid   life   long   love   lsquo   maybe   money   mother   movie   nice   night   pee   phone   point   probably   really   school   smell   someone   stupid   watch   wife   woman   women   work   world  

ThoughtCloud Based on AkoCloud
Image
Humor
spacer.png, 0 kB
download joomla cms download joomla themes
Internet Explorer sucks bad, get Firefox and see the web the correct way.