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Scrivel.com, Writing for the easily amused.

- F. Lawrence Caslin
F. Lawrence Caslin
Self-appointed website owner and AHD (Acting Head Dumbass), F. Lawrence Caslin rejoices in the fact that he can do no wrong. He's not pompous, he's just full of himself.
Dickie V Sucks PDF Print E-mail
Written by F. Lawrence Caslin   
Monday, 31 March 2008

ImageImageI was watching the NCAA Tourney the other day and I felt the need to write this even though I'm stating the obvious.  Dickie V sucks.  I mean, how many articles are written each year on how bad Dick Vitale is?

I know I'm beating a dead announcer but why does this man still get hired to announce the big games?  Or any games at all for that matter? 

His raspy voice annoys me.  His stupid nicknames piss me off.  His recap of the blatantly obvious pulls my pubic hairs out one by one.  His repetition of the same tired cliches over and over is more painful than passing kidney stones with a hard-on.

Dick Vitale, Horse's Ass
Does this horse's ass look familiar?
Okay, yeah, the last one is physically impossible but what a visual!  I couldn't pass it up.

Dickie V is one of the worst announcers in the history of the game.  He was a sucky coach and he's a sucky color commentator.

If I could have a Dickie V punching bag, I'd take up boxing.  I'd practice all the time.  I'd be so good that Vitale would call me a Diaper Dandy.  Right before I punched him in the nose.

Now, having said that, he does know the game.  I'll give him that.  It's a prerequisite of announcing and he's got it down pat.  And he can talk, like a baby without a pacifier.  And usually, he makes just as much sense.

I'll say it one more time.  Dickie V sucks.

 





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