Mother Theresa
| Intimately Photoshopped |
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| Written by Mother Theresa | ||||||
| Monday, 14 April 2008 | ||||||
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Not her real butt. I’m talking about the one that appears in that perfume ad she and Becks have out. It’s called Intimately Beckham. Talk about intimate. What could be more intimate than having someone else’s rear stuck on yours? That’s a very interesting photographic ménage à trois they’ve got going on there: Vicky, Becky, and Mystery Butt.
No way in hell is that her butt. She assures everyone that it is, in fact, her shapely ass in that picture, but if you had borrowed someone else’s butt for an ad, wouldn’t you lie too? She’s no stranger to the Gods of Photoshop, and she must pray nightly for them to be kind to her. I wonder what kind of offering she made to get such good results. But the Gods can be fickle. I couldn’t help feeling slightly gleeful when I saw this picture of Posh in concert. Just what is that thing hanging from her armpit? She must have fallen asleep early and not had a chance to pray that day. Or maybe somebody screwed up and stuck half of someone’s shaved scrotum in there. Could they have mistaken the Vicky bits for the Becky bits? All I can say is, sometimes there is justice in the world, because let’s face it; it is not fair that some scrawny, pouty bitch gets all the cash, a hunky hubby, and a great-looking butt. Even if it is a fake butt.
Or maybe he was too busy with the person that kindly donated her ass to Victoria’s cause. But, on the whole, he fairs pretty well. Especially in that underwear ad he did a while back. I would say that was a huge success. That one must have been done by the same person who did Becks’ full frontal nude photo. That Jack the Stripper has quite a way with men. A little exaggerated maybe, but hey, who can argue with that. He’s done such a good job that it’s hard to tell if it’s real or not. Makes ya' want to give it a yank to see if it comes off like those fake noses, doesn't it? Then again, maybe it is real. In any case, it looks like it belongs there, unlike that overly-full bottom that got stuck on Victoria.
Hey, that gives me an idea. I’m not bad at Photoshopping myself. Anyone looking for a new Photoshop Goddess out there? That’s one job I wouldn’t mind having. Taking revenge on those loathsome celebrities who have done nothing whatsoever to deserve their fame, and that go around make us real women look bad… Enhancing the attributes of others….Where do I sign up? Now, let's see what happens if we stick this horse's willy on Becks...
           
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Will the owner of Victoria Beckham’s butt please stand?
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