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News Satire and Funny Photos.
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What We're Doing Right Now ...
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Wednesday, 09 April 2008 |
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  I got hit in the nuts yesterday. It was pretty painful. Earlier I wrote about how that kind of thing is funny . It's not.
It actually hurts pretty damn bad.
In fact, my boys still hurt at this moment.
A friend was screwing around and swung a rolled up magazine at me. Correction - at my leg. Correction - at the general area between my legs.
I was sitting down and I guess he was aiming for my leg. He said he was anyway. And to be completely honest, he did hit my leg. But he got my left nut too.
He didn't graze it. He knocked it pretty good.
Let's put it this way, I heard my future son scream out in pain.
 At first I didn't feel a thing, I think I was in shock. Then when the bile built up in the back of my throat and my left nad began to throb, I realized what had happened.
I fell out of the chair and onto my knees. I bent over until my forearms were resting on the floor. I dry-heaved and broke out in a sweat. I felt like I'd been kicked by an angry woman practicing judo.
My friend laughed at first and I would have cussed him out if I wasn't so busy keeping my lunch at bay. I did, however, squeeze in a few pissed off moans.
Once he saw I was in real pain, and not grazing pain, he apologized a couple times and I moaned a few replies. He said some other stuff and I moaned some more.
We had a complete conversation like this.
When I finally recovered, I explained how if you're going to hit someone in the leg, aim for the fucking knee. Not the inner thigh.
The thighs are close running partners of my boys. They hang out all day long. They're practically brothers.
They've been inseparable since birth. Only in the coldest of water have they played hide-n-go-seek. (Guess who always hides?)
Women think they know what pain is. They think childbirth hurts.
They don't know the pain that all men fear.
Balls are not funny when they're yours and suffering. |
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Ross Cavins
