Mother Theresa
| My Feet Are Sexier Than Your Feet |
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| Written by Mother Theresa | ||||||
| Wednesday, 23 April 2008 | ||||||
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Wife: Nuh-uh! Mine are way sexier. Husband: No, they’re not. Wife: Are too. This, my friends, is what you can expect after fifteen years of marriage.
In the beginning, he’s all “You’re so cute. Everything about you is sexy. I could just eat those adorable little toes of yours.” Time passes. And you end up arguing over things like whose feet are sexier. Husband: Your toes are just a little too stubby to be sexy and your feet aren’t exactly petite. But it’s okay, because I like you just the way you are. Wife: Too stubby! My toes are perfect. They’re well proportioned, not too long like yours are. Husband: What do you mean, too long? My toes are long and elegant. They’re Greek toes.
Husband: I did not make that up. Greek feet really exist. I looked it up on the Internet. And the consensus is that Greek feet are the sexiest. Your feet are the peasant feet type, but don’t worry, I still think they’re cute. Not sexy, but cute. Wife: You look up feet on the Internet? Should I be worried? Husband: I was only curious, I swear. Wife: M'kay. Well, my feet may be big peasant feet, but I still think my feet are sexier than your Greek feet. Besides Uma Thurman has big feet and she’s sexy, right? Come on, my feet are Kill Bill feet. Now tell me that isn't sexy. Husband: But you don’t do what she does with her feet. Wife: You watch it or I just might! Anyway, people say my feet look just like hers. Husband: People? What people? Wife: Just people. Husband: You mean people come up to you and tell you your feet look like Uma Thurman’s?
Husband: So, you go around showing your feet to the gardener? Wife: No, I don’t go around showing my feet to the gardener. It’s just that I was sunbathing topless in the garden and I thought it was his day off. I jumped up, he looked down and said “Wow, you have really nice, um, feet. They’re just like Uma Thurman’s” Husband: We are so moving to an apartment. Okay, your feet do look like Uma’s, and her feet are sexy, but I still like my long toes. Besides, my feet are as smooth as a baby’s bottom. Wife: Oh yeah, well my perfectly proportioned toes have toenail polish. What could be sexier than that? And what about toe cleavage? I’ll bet you can’t do that. Husband: Come on, a guy with nail polish and toe cleavage would just be gay. Wife: You see, my feet are sexier than yours. But your butt is sexier than mine. Always has been. Now, kiss my feet and show me how sexy you think they are. A word of advice: Guys, your wives’ feet are always sexy. No matter what. Otherwise those sexy butts of yours could get pretty lonely.
           
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Husband:
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