Today, as a service to our readers, I present to you the following "Clip N Save" section.

"What the stuffed animals on your dashboard say about you."

Much like people analyze the content of their dreams, I have come up with a way to determine someone's personality by merely looking at the number and type of stuffed animals they have displayed inside their cars.

I know, you've been dying for this stuff.

You're welcome.

Here we go:

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Number of animals: 

One stuffed animal displayed in rear window:  You have a forgetful child. Either that, or you're a loser.

Two or more stuffed animals displayed (front or rear): You eat TV dinners alone while watching reruns of Wheel of Fortune in your underwear. Loser.

Three or more stuffed animals: Seriously.  What's wrong with you? Don't forget your therapy appointment at 4 o'clock.  You also need a refill on your Prozac. You're also adopted.

Type of animals:

The ultimate in loser stuffed animals.

Dog: You're simply sad, because your dog truly is your only best friend.  On the bright side, at least it's not a cat.  There's actually hope for you, unless that IS actually your dog on the dashboard.  Having a real dog indicates that this is the "bait" you use for attracting children.  You need to be committed.

Mythical Animal: If you are displaying a unicorn, dragon, etc., etc., then you're a 6 year old girl and shouldn't be driving. Either that, or you're a female Goth who puts out for guys in long robes and Robin Hood boots. You often attend Renaissance Faires and have a "list" of people you want killed. If you have a tongue ring, please call me.

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There you have it.

Hope it helps. 

Next week we unveil the mystery behind people who wear sunglasses indoors.

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