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- F. Lawrence Caslin
That Chick
That Chick; she's overweight, she's unattractive, and she's full of crap. Clearly, she is the total package. That Chick's website
No home training. PDF Print E-mail
Written by That Chick   
Monday, 12 May 2008

ImageImageWhen I was about ten or eleven I was forced to watch the movie “Gone with the Wind”. I know, I know. It’s an epic love story and it’s one of the greatest stories ever told and whatnot, but honestly? I didn’t care for it.

Possibly because I was eleven and still interested in Cabbage Patch Kids and stickers and unicorns and not love stories. I’m not sure. But since I was Southern girl, by God, my mom was going to force me to learn what to look for in a man. Which is apparently Rhett Butler, even though he could be a real prick at times and probably took some liberties with Scarlett that he shouldn’t have. Not that she wasn’t a lying bitch and acted just awful and probably if I knew her, I might punch her in her box.

But anyway, that’s not the point and I’m getting way off topic here. The point I’m trying to make is, Southern Gentlemen? Not that easy to find and/or recognize.

I work in an industry largely dominated by men. This is cool with me. I generally like men. My husband is pretty fun. My son? Hysterical. I find it easier to be friends with men, usually. Probably because I tell great fart jokes and I’m not offended if someone tells me my turkeys are done.  And also I’m happily married so there isn’t a big bunch of tension because I don’t care if they think I’m cute or not and they all go home to their wives at the end of the day.

Oh and I decided we should put a Slip-n-Slide at top of the hill where my building is so we can slide down to the bottom of the hill where their building is, so they think I’m the bomb. So I don’t have problems with men I know, usually.

But a lot of men here? What the damn hell?

I’m friendly and nice to everyone and apparently a number of people around here are so socially idiotic they are unable to even be friendly or nice. I say, “How are you doing?” and they just look at me and don’t respond. I mean, clearly it’s not everyday that someone with breasts bothers to speak to them. This much is obvious.

But for God’s sake, do you have to ignore me? You can’t say hello? You can’t do anything but gape at me like a slack-jawed yokel?

parking problem
See the red one, that's the bastard right there.
The other day I was heading for a parking space. Parking is sparse here and spaces near the building are at a premium. I spotted one that was pretty good and was heading for it when I spotted a three hundred year old man trying to cross the street in a crosswalk. I stopped and let him cross and the male co-worker in the vehicle behind me took this opportunity to whip around, nearly mowing down Grandpa in the process, and take the parking space.

He then had the nerve to wave at me as I drove back around, dejectedly, looking for an empty space.  

Long gone are the days that men would hold the doors open for ladies. Some of the men here let the door slam right in your face. Those doors are heavy.

coffee
For you, my liege.
Long gone are the days that the men would let you microwave your Healthy Choice lunch entrée before they microwave theirs.

Long gone are the days that men would, I don’t know, put their coat down so women wouldn’t have to step in a puddle or some crap.   

Still here, sadly, are the days that men think that women can only make coffee or copies. Still here are the days that I get paid 1/2 of what my co-worker gets paid just because he has a dick.  And sadly, the days are still here that someone can complain about having to have training about embryo and fetus protection because, “We aren’t hiring a bunch of women. We’re hiring workers.”

And you know most of them I think would be jerks even if they were women.  Because some people? Are just jerks. I don’t know. But I don’t think their mommas would be proud of them for this nonsense.

Frankly I don’t give a damn if you act like Rhett Butler, but you could at least say hello in the morning.

 





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J IP:70.xxx.xxx.xxx | 2008-05-12 07:50:25
You said it, Chick. Men now act like it's okay to treat us like crap. I don't expect a man to hold my hand and do everything for me while I sit on my frilly chair and sip tea, but I do expect to be treated like an equal.

How hard is that?

Where are the stars on this one? I can't find them to give you your 5 stars!
Tiger Lamb Girl IP:84.xxx.xxx.xxx | 2008-05-12 09:02:26
I loathe self-entitled, bitchy men. That's what they are when they act like that.

Great article!
Tiger Lamb Girl IP:84.xxx.xxx.xxx | 2008-05-12 09:04:20
Oh. And MY son will NOT turn out like that. Because his daddy? Is such a considerate, kind man who still opens doors for ANY woman;). Thank God for that.
Tam IP:88.xxx.xxx.xxx | 2008-05-13 03:17:51
Rhett Butler was a member of the KKK, wasn't he?

I'm planning on training my son to give up his seat to the elderly and to women as long as he's strong and able-bodied. I also want to train him to open doors, mind his manners, and know that 'no' always means 'no'.

I don't know what the hell your coworkers' mothers were doing. I hope that they tried and their sons just didn't turn out.
Rachel IP:75.xxx.xxx.xxx | 2008-05-13 09:56:20
AMEN!! Rude is rude no matter what sex you are!
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