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  We should sell electric razors to polar bears.
That's the conclusion I've come to after environmentally friendlinizing ... environmentalizing ... environinzing ... friendlyerating ... ...after buying some new lightbulbs for my house. Friggin' hippies don't make the explanations easy. Anyway...after suffering through the movie "Arctic Tale" I realized the following:
1) No matter how cute the seal cub is, you still want to see something eat it 2) I'm most likely solely responsible for at least one glacier disappearing  Tasty hors d'hoerve or full-blown appetizer? And we can't have that. As such, I ran out the following weekend and bought $200 worth of squiggly light bulbs. Supposedly, these squiggly light bulbs are supposed to save energy...and, therefore, saving me money. Hopefully, they save me enough money for that Hummer I want...you know, the one with the 62" Plasma TV in the back. Sweeeeeeet. But I digress... I realized quickly, though, WHY these bulbs save so much energy. It's because when you turn them on, they emit as much light as your ass does. *flick* (darkness) Me: "What the...? Did I turn it on? Where's the light? Who just grabbed my ass?" Then...a flicker... Nice. So, somewhere, the hippies and Al Gore neglect to tell you that although you'll be saving a polar bear...you have to wait 6-1/2 hours for the f*cking lights to actually turn on. Great. While you're waiting for this "light" phenomena to happen, you can cry over your Visa bill...which shows that you just spent $200 on F*CKING LIGHT BULBS. Somewhere, in the distance, I hear a polar bear laugh. I'm putting back my flood lights. Then, I'm going out to eat a seal. |
Moooooog35
