|
Divorce: Badge of Experience |
|
|
|
|
Written by Ross Cavins
|
|
Friday, 23 May 2008 |
|
 The other day somebody left a comment on my site about my divorces. I've had two. They weren't planned but they exist nevertheless. I can't hide from them so I embrace them.
I wear them as a badge. A Badge of Experience.
With my badge, I can offer newlyweds advice. Good advice. Not crappy advice like "always communicate" and "put the toilet seat down." I'm talking about real, practical marriage advice.
For instance, let's take my cousin Jared. He got married a few weeks ago. At the wedding, he made a typical groom mistake.
 The correct way to shove it up her nose. You know the part of the ceremony where the bride and groom cut the cake and serve a piece to each other? What's the biggest no-no the groom can make? That's right, when he smushed the cake in her face, he got it in her hair.
Bad move.
You can get it all over her face, even in her nose or ears or her cleavage, but not in the hair. Do you know how much money and time she put into getting her hair done? She's been planning this day since she took her first steps and drooled on her fingers. It's the biggest hair day in her life, bigger than the Senior Prom or the first day on her real job.
In fact, I'll wager that this is the single biggest hair day in any culture. And he smeared cream cheese icing all in it her beautiful coif. I doubt he got any nookie that night.
For the record, the bride shoved enough cake and icing up Jared's nose that he's probably still snacking on it between meals.
I've got a lot of advice I can offer couples contemplating marriage or even those who have already tied the knot. After all, I've made two marriages worth of mistakes. How many have those so-called marriage counselors made?
Some people may wear their divorces as badges of shame but for me, they are Badges of Experience.
For my advice on marriage and separate bathrooms, click here . |