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  A few years after unleasing Weapon X at Easter Brunch, Weapon X and her BFF #1 managed to break our Sega video game player. They both claimed innocence and still to this day admit they have no idea of HOW they broke it, just that they did. The hubs has never quite recovered -- he still mourns some of the games we can never play again. The kids loved the games, too, so I have to believe it was done without malice. But still, the tide was turning.
It turned fully a couple of years ago. BFF #1’s neighborhood does an annual Memorial Day Weekend bash. It's huge, well attended, and we’ve come as guests for years now. In addition to a pool, volleyball, shuffleboard and a rec room, this place also has a sauna.
Or it did.
Seems BFF #1 and BFF #2 and possibly BFF #3 were in there with Weapon X to keep her company while she was piddling. They’re girls. Yes, we ALL go in packs. Yes, it’s to talk about the males. No, you really don’t want to know what we say, trust me. Not even what the young ones say.
Anyway, while Weapon X was doing her duty, so to speak, BFFs #1 & #2 were playing around with a switch on the wall.
“What’s this do?”
“I don’t know.”
“Let’s flip it some more!”
“Okay!”
 They were a little old for this, but, you know, they were bored.
While the BFFs were so occupied, Weapon X smelled something. After getting out and washing her hands, she wandered over to where the BFF Brigade was still flicking something on and off.
A quick look told Weapon X there was no way they were turning on and off a light. She’s my child, so she’s smelled things burning before. At least once a week at dinnertime for her entire life. So, she recognized what was happening.
“Oh. My. GOD! The sauna’s on FIRE!” So shrieked Weapon X, as she led the escape, the BFFs racing out behind her.
Naturally, they didn’t TELL anyone. Until the flames showed. Then, I think one of them nudged an adult and said, “Um, do you see that? Is that, wow, could that be a FIRE?”
Oh, it was an exciting Memorial Day THAT year.
Of course, I knew without asking that Weapon X and her BFFs had to have had a hand in it, so when I asked a couple of probing questions, she admitted it. To me. However, not to any of the other adults.
But, you know, it was a couple of years ago. Besides, it needed a big renovation and the new rec room, sauna and bathrooms are MUCH better. (Um, what IS the statute of limitations on unintentional arson, anyway?)
Weapon X and BFF #1 go to college in the fall. I can’t wait to hear what it is they destroy there, because, by now, it’s a given. Good luck, college administration -- you’re gonna need it. |
The Great Corrupter
