|
Written by Cletus H. Gibson
|
|
Tuesday, 01 July 2008 |
|
  I read in the paper where a bald eagle in Idaho got an artificial beak because a poacher shot hers off. Excuse me?
I know bald eagles are an endangered species and whatnot. And I know it's not the eagle's fault she got shot ... but a prosthetic beak? I don't want to sound like an insensitive prick ... but I call bullshit.
I see what's coming next. The eagle can't procreate because the other bald eagles make fun of her new beak, call her names like "metal nose" and "big honker."
Nobody wants to get with her so the doctors have to give her fake breasts. But then the other bald eagles end up fighting over her and no one can actually get their business done ... so the docs have to artificially inseminate her. Now the tab's up to a couple hundred thousand.
 These guys won't let her play in any eagle games.
Then, for the damn bleeding hearts, we got to have an eagle funeral and pay for counseling for the eagle mother. Three years and another couple hundred grand later, she's well-adjusted and flies into a semi delivering baby diapers.
It's bullshit. Before it's all said and done, we'll spend a half a million on this damn eagle. And for what?
Instead, we should spend all that dough on melting down dead eagles to see if we can use them as a fuel.
Cause I tell you what, $4 a gallon for gas is bullshit too. |
Cletus H. Gibson
