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  Announcement to Handheld Electronics Manufacturers -- You’re Idiots
I just discovered that the iPhone has a distinct problem. Because the iPhone was created to use skin-against-screen technology, a good portion of the population cannot use it. Why is this? Well, a lot of women have these things called ‘fingernails’ at the end of their fingers…and the nails don’t work on the iPhone. So unless they want to dial with their toes, noses, or significant others, they can’t use this flashy, expensive item.
Which prompts me to ask -- what the hell is wrong with the people, who must all be men, who make these things? Are men really that stupid? (A brief bit of research forces us to admit -- yes.) At least 50% of the population is female. And it’s a well-known fact that we drive the majority of all household purchases. And yet, in this day and age, there are people creating things -- luxury items -- that half the population can’t use.  Ladies, ever wondered why those ear buds for phones and MP3 players hurt your ears? It’s because they were made for men, and men have, on average, larger ear-hole-openings (um, yeah, that’s the technical term, I’m sure) than women do. Hard as that may be to believe, considering how little they seem to hear through the things…but that’s not the point of this rant.
Again, at least half the population are women and the cliché is that women talk on the phone all the time. And yet these manufacturers haven’t bothered to find out if they’re making products that women can use. Of course, there’s a company that’s created a special stylus to make the iPhone work -- but the need shouldn’t have been there to be filled in the first place. I mean, how hard IS it for someone at these companies to look at their mother, wife, sister, girlfriend, co-worker and say, “Hey, does this work for you, too?” Are there no female test subjects on these things? Or are the only females allowed to test already forced to act so much ‘like the boys’ that they’re bigger than average and have no fingernails ‘cause that’s too girly? Where are we importing these women from, the Former Soviet Bloc? I have many friends who could be called ‘big girls’ but they’re still girls and they have fingernails and smaller, female ears and such. Toilet manufacturers managed to come up with something that works for both sexes. Are the people in charge of cell phones and MP3s -- supposedly some of the Smartest Guys in the Room -- really stupider than whoever created the lowly toilet? Well, the operative word is ‘guys’, but I think a guy made the toilet, too. So maybe he was just enlightened. Or he asked his wife to test it before he went to final. So, really, all you brilliant idea-mongers who are busy creating the next ‘must have’ item -- let’s make sure the girls can use it, too, okay? Or one of us will create a toilet that looks like you can use it, but can’t. “New from Whamm-ouch, the Jaws of Life Urinal, specially designed to make it easy to pee standing up. (But only if you don’t have dangly bits.)” |
Gini Koch
