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  There’s a great scene (among many) in the movie “Zoolander”. David Duchovny’s playing a hand model, a ‘different breed’ from regular male models. He says male models are being trained as assassins and is exposing this to Zoolander and the investigative reporter on the case.
Zoolander (played by the great Ben Stiller), asks, “But why male models?” Duchovny’s character explains and exposes a centuries-old conspiracy that all assassinations were done by male models, programmed to kill by the fashion industry. The explanation is long, detailed and funny. At the end of it, Zoolander asks, totally straight, “But WHY male models?
Duchovny looks at him and goes, “What, are you serious? I just told you!” We all know people like this, don’t we? We work with them, interact with them, and in some cases, live with them. These are the people who seem to live to ask the same question over and over again. And not the ‘big questions’ like “Why are we here?” or “You want fries with that?” But the idiot questions, those questions that indicate that, no matter how many times or different ways you explain some simple concept, the questioner is never, ever going to ‘get’ the answer. They roam in packs. I wonder what the requirements for membership are: Do you have to be dim and demand people repeat things over and over and over again every single time? If you occasionally sound like you’re not a complete moron, does that negate your membership fee? Do you earn so many points every time you drive a normal, intelligent person to distraction? Is there a special deal if you can convince more than five people of your Zoolander qualities in one fell swoop? Are their merit badges for idiocy posted on the ‘net? How about in the newspaper? And, really, what are the requirements for student, associate, and full membership? Is there a special membership card they carry and, if so, does it have Zoolander’s picture on it or just a huge question mark superimposed over the symbol for infinity?
Not that I want to join. But since I run across the Zoolander Faithful all the time, I’d like to be kind and pass along the information in case some of them aren’t already initiates. I’d also like to find out how it is that I’m on the League of Zoolander hit list…and how to get off. |
The Great Corrupter
