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  Recently at work, I was tasked with writing a Training procedure. I spent approximately eighty hours writing this procedure and really put my best foot forward. It? Was a glorious procedure. Absolutely glorious.
I was informed, however, that the procedure could not be issued. Because? I did not have the required training for writing the procedure. The procedure was titled: “Training for Procedure Writing”. No, I’m not kidding.
I went to my boss and said, “Boss? What the crap?” No, I really did. Crap was the mildest word I could think of for this situation. “What?” he said, completely unable to understand the situation at hand. “Of course I haven’t ‘taken’ the training,” I explained slowly. “I WROTE the training!” “I’m not following you,” he said. “THE TRAINING DID NOT EXIST UNTIL I WROTE THE PROCEDURE!” I shrieked, waving my arms around in the air like I just didn’t care. Because, you know, at that point I didn’t. “But you aren’t trained,” he said, mildly. “NO ONE IS TRAINED,” I said, in a much calmer manner than the situation deserved. Frankly, he's lucky my foot wasn't in his butt at that point. “Right,” he said. “So we have to get this approved so they can be trained. But you aren’t trained on this procedure so we can’t approve it yet.” No. Seriously. He really said that. “HENCE,” I said. “No one will ever be trained on this procedure. Because if *I* the person who WROTE the procedure isn’t TRAINED on the procedure, then it will NEVER BE APPROVED.”  My Company's Corporate Flowchart.
He thought about this for a moment. “Just get trained on it,” he said, very proud of himself. On this procedure. That wasn’t approved. THAT I WROTE. “Sure. Okay,” I said. I smiled, even, and did refrain from slamming the door so hard that they could hear it three buildings over. Is it any wonder that I go home and just stare blankly at the wall for hours? |
That Chick
