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Nuke Dad
NukeDad is a realist. Optimists think the glass is half full. Pessimists think the glass is half empty. Realists know that the glass is just too damn big. Fill it up or chug it; it’s not rocket surgery. Nuke Dad's website
Things You Shouldn't Get At The Dollar Store PDF Print E-mail
Written by NukeDad   
Friday, 18 July 2008

Imagedollar storeThe kids love a trip to the Dollar Store.  You know, those bastions of consumer nirvana that have you thanking your lucky stars that you popped in today.  Who knew that they would be featuring Phil Simms' latest book?  For a dollar?!  Give me two and I'll scratch a name off of my Christmas gift list. Surely one of my gift receivers would love to read about Jim Nantz's hair plugs.

Our last trip to the Dollar Store was going to be a quick grab and dash.  We needed birthday cards and wrapping paper for two upcoming birthdays.  The Hallmark people are great, but I'm not paying $4.00 for a card that will be read once (maybe) and then thrown away. Call me cheap, but at least it's not a torn out piece of spiral notebook paper with your name written in pencil.  It's got an envelope and everything. Be thankful. 

At the last second, Nukegirl reminded me that we were out of Dora the Explorer band-aids.  Since we were near the Health and Beauty supplies, I figured; why not? I opted for the 110 count box (10 bonus bandages-FREE!) that had four different sizes.  I figured that my yield from this box would be about 75%; or approximately 82 ½ band-aids.  Not bad for a buck.  After all; they were Dollar Store band-aids.

shrimp
Crustaceans, Aisle 9.
What I didn't count on was the quality (or lack thereof) of the adhesive itself.  I believe I've learned my lesson.  Our yield from this box is presently at 14% and falling rapidly.  It took 6 separate applications of 3 band-aids at a time to cover a cut on Nukeboy2 that was so small you would need a micrometer to measure it.  It healed by itself in 18 minutes, but there was blood and tears, so band-aids for three days was mandatory. A post it note that has been rolled in a litter box has more staying power than these band-aids.  He sneezed while watching TV and lost batch number 4.  Never again. Ever.

This exercise led me to think about other items I need to avoid when visiting the Dollar Store. I don't want to get caught up in another J Paul Getty moment and think that I'm being frugal.  Here's what I came up with:

·    Picture Frames: The largest you can buy for a buck is 4 X 6, so why bother? The support on the back weakens by about 1 degree daily.  2 months down the road you'll have a drink coaster.
·    Seafood:  Please don't tell me you need an explanation. Seafood from Kansas isn't good for you.
·    Jewelry:  Only for those who enjoy green ear lobes and open sores on your fingers.
·    Batteries:  They won't even tickle your tongue in the store.
·    Snack Cakes:  Little Debbie's a little stale.
·    Flashlights:  Each comes with a 2 week warranty.
·    Make-Up:  Comes in 3 shades: Haze, Soot and Dirt.
·    Chocolate Syrup:  Trust me on this one.
·    Watches:  Tells time in 3 time zones; none of them yours.
·    Sunscreen:  SPF 4.
·    Flesh-Eating Virus Ointment: Not FDA approved, and who picked it up before you? Itchy?

These free tips should help you out the next time you think (incorrectly); "Wow! Only a dollar? What a great deal!"  Shop wisely, my friends. 





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Weaselmomma - worldofweasels.blogspot.com IP:67.xxx.xxx.xxx | 2008-07-18 05:46:07
Good Stuff. But what's wrong with seafood from Kansas????LOL
matt - http://www.redsparks.com/playp IP:207.xxx.xxx.xxx | 2008-07-18 09:36:19
You are so right....especially about the batteries. I bought a pack of 60 AA's there once. The package claimed that they would power a device for 12 hours. What I didn't realize was that the whole package lasted 24 hours....you do the math.
Formerly Fun IP:71.xxx.xxx.xxx | 2008-07-20 15:21:38
See, you are forgetting how to alternate the purpose of stuff you find at the dollar store.

Take the seafood for instance. You don't eat it, you use it as an emetic so if the kids or the dog gets into some poison, there you go.

The Dora bandaids while no good as bandaids are great repurposed as children's stickers. With the faulty adhesive, when my little girl sticks them all over our antique armoire, they'll just fall right off.

Snack cakes, chocolate syrup, makeup? These can make terrific craft supplies.

The jewelry? Makes a great birthday gift for coworkers you don't like.
deb'm IP:66.xxx.xxx.xxx | 2008-08-14 07:37:14
i prefer the 99 cent store. that's some quality stuff there.
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