|
 1) My children
In addition to not having a mortgage to pay or having to worry about the rising gas prices? They get to watch a butt-ton of cartoons every day. Also? They get to have a mom who says things like, "Ice cream in the living room? Hell yeah! Save me a scoop of that Rocky Road" and who laughs when they say things like "ass" and who makes them laugh so hard that they fart. I didn't have a mom like that, that's for sure.
2) My husband I wake up at 6am and frantically race around for an hour getting myself and two children ready. I drive for 45 minutes and usually don't end up at work until 8am anyway. My husband? His alarm goes off for the first time at around 7:30am. He leisurely gets up, leisurely takes a shower, and drives like a maniac for like three miles (just because he always drives like a maniac) and he's at work. Also? You know that thing that men swear that women always STOP DOING when they get married? I totally didn't stop doing that.* 3) My dog Okay, she's not a person. But she gets to sleep all day. Bitch.  mumbledy mumbledy doo 4) Jason Mraz
What the hell man? He stutters a lot and makes up words and sings about french fries and he becomes famous? Who is that dude boinking? Okay, he's not that famous. But he probably still has that "curbside rocket" money he made. And that's more than you can say for the likes of me. 5) My co-workers I swear to Fred, I think some of these people wake up in the morning and think to themselves, "What can I do today to make myself look like a gigantic douche?" And then they do whatever that action is and THERE ARE NO CONSEQUENCES. It must be nice to live in a world with no consequences. 6) Barack Obama He's so everywhere these days. 7) Angelina Jolie When she gets tired of Brad Pitt? She and her plethora of children can just so steal someone else's husband. It will be awesome for her. 8) Anyone who has no children, job, or disability and stays at home all day watching Maury I love freaking Maury. 9) Whoever invented Pop Tarts That's some good stuff right there. 10) People without goals and dreams Life would be so much easier without those stupid goals and dreams. *I meant wash the dishes. Get your minds out of the gutter. Gah! |