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Can You Say Wedgie Reggie? |
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Written by Formerly Fun
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Friday, 08 August 2008 |
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 I get schloads of free magazines at my spa all the time. They send them to spas and salons frequently because it boosts circulation, therefore allowing them to charge more to advertisers. Recently I got one that calls itself ”America's #1 Gay Men's Magazine” and the gay version of Details magazine. I brought it home to page through out of curiosity and to see how the other half of the other half lives.
Based on the magazine, features and ads, this is what I gleaned interests the average young, gay, man.
- Underpants
- Funny, trashy, boozing, hot mess comedienne/actress types
 Want a Bud? Lime flavored Bud lite- Tom Cruise (don't send me emails about this one Scientologists)
- 10,000 BC loinclothes, basically just prehistoric underwear(see #1)
- Sarah Jessica Parker(#2)
- Hosting eurodance partys
- Stylish vodka
- David Sedaris (who isn't interested, this guy is fucking hilarious)
- More underwear
- Fashion designers that design underwear
- Sizzling hot beaches with well-heeled bronze bodies in designer swimwear(underwear for the water)
- White pants and very tan men
- An absence of body hair
- Playing chicken in the pool in their fashion swimwear
If you like 3 or more of these things, are male and spend more than 0 minutes a day thinking about male underwear, you just may be a gay male 18-34. Now go get a spray tan, put your new white pants on, pour yourself a persimmon/pomegranate flavoured vodka and send out the e-vites for your Eurodance party.
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