|
Written by Ross Cavins
|
|
Thursday, 14 August 2008 |
|
  My friend Jeff has a co-worker he calls Hey19. It's from a song by Steely Dan, he tells me. I've never heard it.
Hey19 is this cute slice of strawberry-blonde American Pie so young and innocent you feel the urge to store her in some Tupperware and save some for later.
Hey19 thinks Nellie is old-school Hip Hop. She's never heard of Run DMC or The Fat Boys or KRS One. To her, Nellie is the definition of the Hip Hop music genre. Nellie.
 Hey19 has never seen "A Christmas Story." She doesn't know what a Red Rider BB Gun is and she doesn't know it will put your eye out.
Hey19 has never voted.
Hey19 could have been conceived while her parents listened to Milli Vanilli's "Girl You Know It's True."
Hey19 has no idea what a rotary phone is. Or a bag phone.
Hey19 is 19 years old and Jeff, at age 30, has finally realized that he is no longer young. Jeff has crossed over the line. Jeff is now officially an old guy.
Welcome, Jeff.
Roll your wheelchair over by me, I turned 37 today.
I'll share my peanut brittle while we watch reruns of MASH and laugh at BJ and Hawkeye's pranks.
|
Ross Cavins
