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  I’ve been reading a variety of blogs and articles all talking about the same thing, namely, what the hell is wrong with Rolling Stone Magazine and why isn’t this dinosaur put out of its misery like now?
I guess I was never really in Rolling Stone’s target demographic. I majored in International Business in college, and though I considered myself a liberal for most of my life, I think my slide into conservatism started in my Junior year, when I can distinctly remember arguing with a guy I was dating about landlord’s rights. I was strictly for dumping out squatters, and the guy, who was at least 10 years older than me, was strictly on the side of giving the squatters more freebies just ‘cause. Shockingly, we didn’t work out.
I had a subscription to Rolling Stone in college. I also had a subscription to the Wall St. Journal, Business Week, Ms. Magazine, and Mother Jones. I considered Rolling Stone very middle of the road. It was what I read when I didn’t want to hear an opinion. I know, I know. P.J. O’Rourke was writing for RS at that time, didn’t I notice? Um, I blush to admit it, but no. I can only remember one article from several years of RS readership, and it was about male prostitutes, and while it was well-written, I’m pretty darned sure P.J. didn’t write it. Why that one stuck with me, I have no idea, but it did. Sometime before I graduated I cancelled my RS subscription, along with every other magazine subscription. I didn’t really regret it. But I had fond memories of reading RS. I guess I really found that expose on male hookers meaningful.  I went on searching for a real magazine connection and found true love with TV Guide, Premiere and Entertainment Weekly. But then…Premiere up and left me in the middle of the night. No card, no kiss good-bye, just one day here, the next, gone for good. And TV Guide went from great to horrible in about a week and I dumped it, refusing its calls and letters.
So, in an attempt to remain relevant in the happening arts, and to have something in case Entertainment Weekly deserted me, too, I gave Rolling Stone another try. I love music and have wide and extremely eclectic musical tastes. I like something in every corner of the recorded music world. Plus, by this time, I actually knew who P.J. O’Rourke was and worshipped at his altar, and heck, RS had been good enough for him, why not see what I’d been missing all these years? Sure, P.J. had left the RS building long ago, but surely some of his genius and humor was still there, lurking about. All I can say is…“wow”. Followed quickly by “snore”. I realized within one issue that I’d liked RS ‘way back when because if you’re reading Mother Jones and Business Week at roughly the same time, almost anything else is going to seem fair and balanced. Okay, so RS wears it’s 1960’s agenda on its sleeve. Sure, I think they’re at least 40 years out of date, and that’s hard to get through, but I reminded myself that one didn’t really read RS for the politics -- one read it for the music, man. Only…um…has anyone at RS actually, I don’t know, listened to music in the last 40 years? And if they have, have they ever heard of a popular band they liked? Basically, they were reviewing bands I’d never heard of and, after reading about, never wanted to hear from, or bands that were so out of date that they’d make an ‘80’s revival look all hip and happening. They make out like Sir Elton is still some upstart, if he gets a mention at all, and they seem to think Madonna’s still the Material Girl as opposed the Cougar Poster Gal. In the four issues I could manage to drag my eyes through, they insulted every CD from every band I liked, usually on the grounds that, as I read it, the music was good and the fans would love it, meaning that the artists had sold out. Um, huh? And the bands they were championing fell on the side of ‘painful to listen to’ to ‘horrible beyond belief’ to ‘best stuff was, really, done in 1972’.  So, I cancelled. Again. Only, the chicklet’s on her way to college, and somehow she’s ‘scored’ a Rolling Stone subscription. It’s free, ‘cause there’s no way anyone in my family’s paying for it.
But, to show how hip and relevant RS still is, there, on the Cover of the Rolling Stone, are two acts that are so ‘now’, so cool, so musically God-like, I should forgive RS for all past transgressions and stay subscribed for life. And my college-aged daughter should also carry her copy of RS proudly off to her freshman dorm, secure in the knowledge that she’s got the bastion of ‘cool’ with her. What cutting edge, super bands are on these covers, you ask? Who is RS suggesting is going to be the next U2, the next Springsteen, the next musical geniuses? Who are they trumpeting to the world? Who should all right thinking folks go out and give a listen to, not to mention hit their concerts, as per the Magazine of Rock and Roll? Zac “High School Musical” Efron and The Jonas Brothers Band. So, either RS’s music editors just came over from the Walt Disney Company, or they’ve got a new demographic -- preteen girls. Dang. Missed the RS boat again. |
The Great Corrupter
