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Remembering the Red/Blue ball Gag Respectively |
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Written by Uncle Beau
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Wednesday, 20 August 2008 |
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  Recently I've noticed I have the worst memory that anyone could ever hope to have ... well, not recently. More like three ... four days ago? Who cares.
My point is, Some things are little mistakes like, burning yourself with a pan because you forgot it was hot ... as you were pulling it out of the stove while it was on; or even as much as forgetting to look both ways before you cross the street ... on a lawnmower ... a push mower.
Just the other day, I forgot that my wife told me that we had company coming over. I managed to be home at the right time.
 But then I forgot to get dressed before I answered the door. I don't think I've ever seen such shocked yet satisfied people holding a Polaroid camera and a bottle of Johnny Walker Red before in my life. I could have worn my wife's leather gimp outfit, but I didn't want to offend my buddy's wife; she's afraid of Catholics. So, I wore the ass-less chaps.
Memory is something I've never really had a good one ... of ... damn it, let me start over. Now ... what ... was ... oh, I never had a good memory.
 I'd forget to fart if I didn't have to fart all the time. I think maybe I was abducted by illegal aliens and forced to eat burritos and watch La Bamba until I lost my mind ... Wait, never mind. I wasn't. I forgot my anniversary, but then again most husbands are supposed to. However, unlike all other husbands, my wife thinks she's a little Asian girl ... or was it a black guy ... I guess it doesn't matter as long as I get mine.
I'm glad that no matter what, my ol' lady will always be there in her gimp gear to make me remember to put some clothes on before we go to the park ... and to put that red ball gag in my mouth ... or was it blue?
Still, no one beats my push mower. |
Uncle Beau
