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Written by F. Lawrence Caslin
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Tuesday, 26 August 2008 |
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  I've decided to sue the Colgate-Palmolive Corporation. What for? For decades of misleading product advertisements and labeling. I'm referring specifically to Colgate's toothpaste.
I was in the store the other day and I saw a product called "Colgate Total." I set my deodorant down and stared at the shelf. I couldn't believe my eyes.
Colgate Total.
I thought to myself, "If this is Colgate Total, what the hell have I been buying all these years?"
Colgate alone had about twelve different kinds of toothpaste for sale, from orange-flavored to whitening to tartar control to the controversial Colgate Total.
All these years, Colgate Palmolive sold me an incomplete toothpaste. This will be my argument in court.
 Personally, I'm appalled that such a trustworthy company, an American institution if you will, would stoop so low. For my whole life, I may as well have been brushing my teeth with curdled milk and mint leaves.
I've had eighteen cavities since my first one at age twelve. If Colgate had sold me a complete toothpaste instead of a watered-down goo, they could have been avoided.
I plan on suing for the cost of my dental bills, pain and suffering, and whatever else I can get my hands on. Colgate-Palmolive is a big company, they'll probably settle out of court for a few million to avoid the embarrassment.
Now, does anyone know anything about this full-flavored Pepsi Edge? Half the sugar but all the flavor? To me, that means that Diet Pepsi is, by omission, not full-flavored and therefore, I've been overcharged and misled. |
F. Lawrence Caslin
