In a shocking, but not too surprising announcement from PETA, (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) they have asked popular ice cream manufacturer Ben and Jerry's to begin using breast milk in its products instead of cow's milk.  Their reasoning, is that it would reduce the suffering of cows and calves and give ice cream lovers a healthier product.

I've milked a cow one time in my life.  I was at a local fair, and attempted to fill a saucer in a "milking" competition.  The whole process did make me feel kind of "dirty."  Perhaps this is what PETA warned against ... mental suffering of the cow as its under-carriage is constantly being messed with.  I didn't even ask the cow if it was 18.

Considering the alternative, I am glad that groups of illegal immigrants have decided to stick the "auto-milkers" on the cows without my knowledge.  Out of sight, out of mind.

Ben and Jerry's quickly released a statement lauding the "new ideas" that PETA was trying to instigate, but that cow's milk is perfectly fine.  The un-written snickers could be heard across the country in this statement.

It is rumored that Ben and Jerry's did run a couple test flavors in study groups to ascertain whether or not the idea had merit.  Below are a few that were not received very well:

• La Leche League Caramelo y Chocolate
• Colostrum Coffee Burst
• Wetnurse Surpise
• HIV-Free Chocolate Cherry
• Pralines and Enfamil (for the lactose intolerant)

And in a bold approach to new flavors, they were to have "donating" females to eat garlic prior to giving milk, and were to call the flavor:

• Butter Rum Zing!!

Is this the best idea PETA has right now??  They need to stop hiring unpaid interns.  Methinks this would not be a highlight on a future resume, probably ranking right below Olive Garden Server.

When asked whether PETA talking head Pamela Anderson was planning on donating, she replied that there was no way she was going to "suck the life" out of her bosoms.  She then promptly threw red paint all over the reporter.

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