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Ten things I値l probably never know |
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Written by That Chick
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Monday, 02 February 2009 |
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  Ten things I’ll probably never know:
· If when purchasing a Lexus you really do get a little card to place in your wallet which entitles you to drive in the furthest left hand lane on the interstate while going 8 miles below the posted speed limit.
· What I will say at my Academy award acceptance speech.
· What it’s like to think that my boobs are so hot that they will get me a job even though I don’t have the skills, education, or brains to do said job.
· Why people that shunned me in high school now want to be my friend on The Facebook.
· Why people seriously believe that if you forward emails to your friends you’ll get money/save the world from a terrorist/save a dying child.
· How it would feel to say, “Thanks Oprah!” while sitting on her couch discussing her complete love and undying affection for my book.
· Why having a penis automatically means you have a higher paycheck.
· Why my son has absolutely nothing to say on the car ride to school until one minute before we are the #1 car in the drop-off lane at which time he begins his dissertation on all six of the Star Wars movies.
· How it will feel to cash a royalty check big enough to pay off my house.
· Why anyone still cares about Lindsey Lohan and her fire crotch. Bless her heart. |
That Chick
