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Working For the Weekend: Dull Jobs and Lap Dancing Dreams |
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Written by Tiggy
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Monday, 16 February 2009 |
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  I’m sitting in the company boardroom, listening to a presentation about something I don’t care about for a job I hate. The Power Point slides flash across the screen as the speaker drones on about departmental procedures. Like anyone gives a fuck. My brain is starting to shut down and evaporate through my ears. My working life wasn’t supposed to be this dull. At junior school my friends and I would sit around the lunch table chattering excitedly about our future jobs when we grew up – writer, airline pilot, lap dancer. And that was just me. Why do we resign ourselves to crappy uninspiring jobs? Apart from the desperate need for money. But are dream jobs really that great after all?
Being an airline pilot looks fun, with all that taking off and landing and walking around the airport looking important. But once in the air, probably all they do is drink coffee, press a few buttons and play strip poker with attractive air stewards. Nothing more than babysitting a giant machine. I would be asleep in no time. I once dreamt of becoming an actress, but from bitter experience that sucks too. Getting up at 4am to sit in a cold trailer all day waiting for the ‘right kind of light’ isn’t my idea of fun. Then retaking scenes over and over as the director criticizes my every gesture – it’s a long way from the Oscars. And I’m still waiting to get paid from my last role in Wild Gingers in the Washroom. Sucks, I tell you. Blogging isn’t really a proper job, but misguided people think they can make lots of cash from it. It may seem glamorous to start with – grateful fans sending money, men wanting me to autograph their underpants, non-stop parties. But after a month or so the novelty starts to wear off. And having to deal with the lawsuits and police raids – I’m sure all you other bloggers out there know exactly what I’m talking about. My job is soul-destroying but I can always change my career if I try. Maybe the lap-dancing-pilot dream is beyond my reach, but as I sit here in this miserable office, my boss won’t notice if I spend a few hours writing a script for my new movie idea, Blog Babes in Bondage… |
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Tiggy
