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Written by F. Lawrence Caslin
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Monday, 21 January 2008 |
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  I don't normally write because, well, I own this joint and it ain't my job to write. But I have a friend named Jeff who just underwent a pretty miraculous surgery the other day and I feel compelled to share it with you.
Jeff works at a construction site. He's one of the guys who does riveting into steel girders, I don't know what you call them. But he's good at it, works pretty fast too.
Last month, they were working on some new condos downtown when something went wrong with the rivet gun. It caught on something and jerked back at the wrong time, a piece of the gun ripping into Jeff's eye and slicing off part of his eyelid.
It was pretty bad, there was blood everywhere.
The doctors at the hospital couldn't save the eyelid but they offered to perform a skin graft to build a new one. The only negative is where the skin would come from - the foreskin of Jeff's uncut penis. It seems that it was the only place that would work because of its elasticity and lack of hair follicles.
Jeff toiled with his decision and finally, after a long sleepless night, chose to go through with it. The doctors prepped him, gave him some good drugs and took him into the surgery room. An hour later, he emerged with a new eyelid and within a week, was independent of his bandages.
The radical operation went off without a hitch. Well, almost. Now Jeff walks around looking all cock-eyed.
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F. Lawrence Caslin
