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Ross Cavins

Ross Cavins is 36, twice divorced and has a cat for a best friend. He enjoys tinkering, eating peanut butter and self-gratification. Not necessarily in that order. Ross Cavins' website

Second Day Socks PDF Print E-mail
Written by Ross Cavins   
Tuesday, 29 January 2008

ImageImageI was over at a buddy's house the other day when he took his socks off and smelled them.  I just looked at him quietly, formulating a few thoughts in my head before one finally surfaced. 

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, drawing my face together like a stale prune.

He looked up at me, still holding them in his hand, and with all seriousness, said, "Smelling my socks."

I waited for more.

He finally continued, "I love these socks, man.  They're fantastic!  They're wool and they're the most comfortable pair I have."  To him, this justified everything.

I waited another second before saying, "So you're smelling them?"

ImageHe shrugged and said, "I thought I might get another day out of them."  He threw them on the floor.  "I mean, they're always funky but you never know."

You never know?  You wear a pair of socks for twelve hours, at a job where you're on your feet all day, and you think there's a chance in hell they might still be fresh?  For God's sake, man, the socks were molded into the shape of his feet!  You could actually see where his toes had been!

I asked him why he didn't just buy some more socks like them and he said, "I don't know where these came from.  They're not even mine, they just showed up one day."

I figured I'd cut it off right there.  Each time he spoke, I had more questions and I knew I'd never be satisfied.  But I'll leave you with one edifying thought.

They just showed up one day.

 





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Shar - This rocked my socks... IP:66.xxx.xxx.xxx | 2008-02-13 12:35:27
Seriously... funny, funny stuff
Southern gal IP:71.xxx.xxx.xxx | 2008-05-19 01:17:41
Probably someone else's 2nd-, 3rd-, or 4th-day socks & they just walked straight in his front door. He saw them, liked 'em, immediately did the standard smell test - b/c hey, you never know - then probably put them on.

Really, you don't actually know if he's EVER washed them, beings that the toes are permanently formed by now.

Curious, is this the same buddy that you call STINKY FRIEND, or is this another friend? Hmmm. Some very, one might say, hygenically-challenged friends.

When hanging out do you wear soap-on-a-rope as a precaution... some garlic around your neck? Place a smear of VICKS directly under your nose?

Instead of some snuff in a round can in your back pocket, do you carry RENUZIT instead? Even better, a double-hip holster replete w/ one can of LYSOL, the other a Colt .45 can of OUST?

Just asking there, Cavins.

Sg
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