I’m a girl. When I pee I like to sit down. Preferably on a clean toilet seat, but I’m just finicky like that. Boys can pee both sitting AND standing. Not fair. I suppose when put between a rock and hard place I too could stand, though I doubt I would be able to ring anything, much less the toilet! I also doubt it will be the cleanest or neatest spectacle ever witnessed. Luckily, I haven’t been stuck in this situation in years - not since I was much younger. Ok, it happened just last year on the 4th of July. 

My boyfriend and I went to a local school that over looks the Hudson River to watch fireworks. It was romantic. We spread out our blanket, mixed our wine coolers with our slushies and laid back to enjoy the show. And then BOOM! No, not fireworks . . . I had to pee. I held it as long as I could and just when I thought I was going to burst, my boyfriend got up to say he was going to go pee.

I was instantly pissed off – no pun intended – that he could walk literally 3 feet away, whip it out and spray a nearby bush. At that point I realized I wasn’t going to be able to hold it, so I too got up and started walking to look for a bathroom. Knowing full well that the school doors were closed and there were no nearby stores or restaurants, I started the walk up the SUPER steep hill to find a tree or bush.

I walked to the nearest tree only to find that on the other side was a small family enjoying the evening together. Fine. I continued to walk up the incredibly steep hill - I really don’t think you realize how big this hill was and just how badly I needed to go to the bathroom! - and found a small area where there was a clump of bushes.

Again, people everywhere. Finally, I walked all the way up that damned hill to the back of the school and decided, screw it, I’m peeing behind the school! I pulled my pants down, braced myself with one hand on the side of the school wall and let it go . . . right into my shoe.

You tell me, who can resist a girl with a shoe full of piss?

Two days ago I was driving by the Mall and saw, at one of the main entrances, a tiny little hiney. I, of course, did a double take and saw that it was a little boy about the age of 4 or 5 standing there with his dad peeing on the side of the mall! The father didn’t try to hide the kid, didn’t try to move him over behind the tree, didn’t even bother to take him INSIDE the mall. No, he let him pee, right there in the middle of rush hour traffic and on the side of the mall wall.

At first I laughed because the tushie was so cute, but then I got to thinking, what would the father have done if he had a daughter instead of a son? You can’t just ask your daughter to “cop a squat” right on the side of the road. And if the boy had been with his mother instead, I bet you a million dollars she would have taken him inside - or at least taken him BEHIND something!

Just when I was almost lost in my thoughts, the light turned green and I glanced back over just in time to see the little boy spray his dad’s leg. I smiled, knowing that a little piss in the shoe never hurt anybody.

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Kim - Full of piss IP:69.xxx.xxx.xxx | 2008-02-11 10:59:53 I can't tell you have many times I have had to cop a squat only to pee in my shoe.. now mind you I was usually really drunk.. but still .. pee in a shoe is never fun..LOL Joggingincircles Reply 2   0

Kalyndadri IP:76.xxx.xxx.xxx | 2008-02-11 12:07:02 My mom used to pull over to the sit of the road and pee in full view, or, even worse, poop in full view of cars driving by. I'm glad I never really looked at her as a role model, as I'm sure everyone that has ever known me or lives in my area is as well. Reply 1   1

Vicki - I see it all the time IP:216.xxx.xxx.xxx | 2008-02-12 10:58:30 There are a few little boys who pee in full view of everyone at the soccer fields. One day a little guy walked around for several minutes just holding his boy prize between his finger and thumb.. that is until we heard a loud gasp and hurried ruffle of activity from his mother. I'm always thankful that I have girls. Reply 1   0

John Bougearel - Squishy IP:76.xxx.xxx.xxx | 2008-02-13 13:15:36 You girls... How I get that squishy feeling whenever your around, how I wish to God, baby come back! you can blame it all on me I was wrong and..... Reply 0   0

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