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Bluetooth Paranoid Schizophrenia |
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Written by The Mick
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Wednesday, 13 February 2008 |
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 I call bullshit. I call bullshit on everyone with a Bluetooth headset for their phone. I don't think those things work at all. I think what's really going on, the secret no one wants to talk about, is that we as a nation are facing an epidemic of paranoid schizophrenia the likes of which have never been seen.
What really is the difference between the crazy-ass homeless guy shouting at no one about how he will not allow for his soul or his left shoe (which he seems to think are one in the same) to be stolen, and the guy in the business suit shouting at no one about how he will not allow anyone to steal his soul or his 401-K (which he seems to think are one in the same)?
A little plastic thingy. That's all.
The media and Best Buy would have us all believe that people everywhere are having important conversations through the miracle of technology embodied in a little plastic ear thingy. They just don't want us to panic. They don't want us to know that everywhere regular people are starting to hear voices and finding it harder and harder not to respond to those voices.
Only yesterday as I was walking home a man behind me shouted, "Hey!" so I turned and said "Hello." He pointed angrily to the little plastic thing in his ear and said, "I'm not talking to you! I'm on the phone!" "Yeah, right, you crazy fucker. I know what's going on," I said. He's not fooling anyone. The Government knows about it. Oh yeah they do. They're scared we're going to elect a black man or worse, a woman president. And when the votes come in, they will need some way of discrediting the voting public. What better way than to say we are all crazy?
Next time you see one of them chatting away just think about it. Is it really a phone in their ear? Or maybe, just maybe, are they and millions of others slowly going completely insane?
Bluetooth. Ha. How could we have been so stupid? |