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- F. Lawrence Caslin
Mimzie Beaumont
Mimzie likes to talk about how great she is, all while in a humorous fashion. She's not full of herself, she's just accurate. Bow down before her or suffer the excruciating pain of her pure, solid gold heels! Mimzie Beaumont's website
Got Milk? PDF Print E-mail
Written by Mimzie Beaumont   
Monday, 25 February 2008

ImageImageRemember the old saying, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” This saying was around when our parents were starting to date and, of course, has been passed down. First let me just say, being the chubby girl that I am, I don’t appreciate the cow/milk analogy. I mean, couldn’t it just as easily have been chicken and eggs or anything else for that matter? But I digress. 

I’ve never liked this saying for many reasons.

ImageOne in particular being that in this day and age it doesn’t really matter if you give the “milk” away or not, if he is wanting “milk” he’s going to get it somewhere. You can get “milk” pretty much anywhere these days - you can find it in a bar, you can pay for it, you can have a friend set you up with a hot “cow” that teases you with her “milk” – really, it’s everywhere.

So do I hold on to my “milk” so that he HAS to buy the “cow?” I mean, why should I be punished? I like giving away my “milk” (well, to one person anyway. I’m not a slutty “cow.”)

And at this point, isn’t it too late considering he’s had the “milk” for awhile now? Am I destined to be an old maid “cow” with dried up “milk?” Should I have NOT given my “milk” away years ago?

And can’t we start saying, “why buy the eggs when you can get the chicken for free?” It would certainly make this old cow feel a little better. But only a little.





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