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  About 6 or 7 years ago I met, through work, a very handsome and established guy. We’ll call him Tarzan. Tarzan was SO nice and SO handsome but, our schedules never matched up. Finally, one weekend - as I was flying back from a weekend in Nantucket - he called and asked if I wanted to get together that night to watch Sex and the City, a man after my own heart. I said sure and invited him over knowing that the only TV in my apartment with cable was in the bedroom. Whoops.
Tarzan came over and the second I opened the door, his handsomeness – is that a word? Screw it, it is now! – took my breath away. I was so excited and like most lonely and pathetic girls, I already started mentally naming our children. I explained that I only had cable in the bedroom and he had NO problem with that. I poured some wine, led him to the bedroom and we sat – not laid – on top of the bed to watch SATC.  After Carrie and Co. entertained us we got to talking about ourselves: music we liked, movies we had seen lately, etc. Now, what I should have told you was that this was only the second time we had seen each other. The first time we met for lunch. Innocent, right? Then, out of the blue, he asks me if I would like to go with him that following weekend to the Bahamas. I explained that I had NO money to take a trip bu,t thanks for the thought. Tarzan immediately said he would foot the bill for the entire trip.
This would be where a normal thinking person would again say “no thank you,” but being the Natalee Holloway that I am all I could think about was a free trip to the Bahamas. That is until he opened his mouth and started talking again. Tarzan explained to me how he likes to go to some resort in the Bahamas and watch couples have sex. He said he had been doing it for a few years and goes several times a year unless he’s dating someone who is also into it and then he goes every weekend. EVERY WEEKEND!?! We live 20 minutes from Manhattan and you’re telling me you couldn’t watch people having sex a little closer to home? The city that never sleeps? Come on, SOMEONE will let you watch. Just ask. Once I regained my composure, I told him that while I won’t judge him for his extracurricular activities, I was going to have to pass this time. He called a few more times after that night but, in all honesty, I was busy each time he wanted to get together. I’m sure he thought it was because of that night – and maybe it was a little – no, it definitely was. |
Mimzie Beaumont
