Dorky Dad
| Songs I Probably Shouldn't Sing In Public |
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| Written by Dorky Dad | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Sunday, 02 March 2008 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Lock the doors, Ethel, the guy in that green Honda Civic is yelling at the voices in his head! He'll probably pull an Uzi out any second! But my singing doesn't stop when I leave the car. I frequently find myself softly singing to myself whenever I'm walking in the mall or Target or sitting at work. But there are some songs in my iPod that I really should not sing. Here, for instance, are a few examples: “Cowboy Take Me Away,” by the Dixie Chicks. I'll admit it: I've seen Brokeback Mountain – The Wife chained me to the couch and used toothpicks to force my eyes open ala Clockwork Orange – but I have no desire to have anybody think that I've taken the movie's subject matter to heart. “Creeping Death” by Metallica. This song employs the word “DIE!” about 1,401 times. I used to bang my head to this song in my metalhead high-school days. I'm 37 now. Singing this out loud at this stage in my life automatically qualifies me for involuntary commitment to a mental institution. Ave Verum, a Mozart aria. I've got a decent baritone voice, but nobody wants to hear me singing an operatic aria. My voice has been known to make cats amorous, and we have enough feral cats in this world. “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana. I could pick any song by these guys and while they were fantastic, I could listen to the songs 1 million times and wouldn't know what the heck they were saying. So I'd be singing “blah blah, nah nah noooo-nee.” And then I'd be committed.  Banned promo photo. “Kiss the Children” by Gram Parsons. I don't know if any of you has ever listened to this song, and it's a good one, but you might want to avoid singing lyrics like this: “I won't be able to resist my rage. And the gun that's hanging on the kitchen wall dear, is like a road sign pointing straight to Satan's cage.” This is especially true if you're withdrawing money from the bank, or you're being stopped for speeding. “Get Down Tonight” by K.C. & the Sunshine Band. What the hell is this song doing in my iPod?!!? Um ... must have been The Wife who downloaded it. Yes, that's it. Still, if I DID put that song voluntarily into my iPod, it'd be a song that I'd sing to myself, not in public where other people could actually hear me singing it. So I think you have the point now. Don't sing certain songs out loud. But you probably know all this already.
           
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I have a lot of music. And when I listen to music, I usually sing along – especially in my car. But while I like to imagine myself on stage in front of thousands of screaming fans, exuding an image of totally awesome coolness, I'm almost certain that I look like a deranged doofus to anybody who pulls along side me.
Sounds like you need to euthanize some of the tunes in you iPod. LOL. I think it is best if you schedule a monthly iPod tune down (not tune up) get it. Kiss the children and the photo, hilarious.| < Prev | Next > |
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