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This Is Mark
This is Mark. He lives in a big mansion in England, studies at Cambridge University and is good friends with Prince William. In his spare time he likes to hang out with gullible American women. This Is Mark's website
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Written by This Is Mark   
Thursday, 06 March 2008

ImageImageLiving amongst my peers for the majority of the year has allowed my use of obscenities to blossom into pretty much every sentence I use. However for those few weeks of the year when I return home to get my bed sheets washed and dine on food that hasn't turned a bit too grey I have to curb my love for the swear so as not to tarnish my parents 1950s lifestyle. 

Now I might be being a little unfair on my parents, they're not blinkered to the modern world, they know that some words have become more socially acceptable than back in their day, but they still hold the mentality that if a film says fuck too many times they will switch it off without giving it a second thought. I think the limit is 2.34 fucks and/or 5.76 shits every 30 minutes.

One mustn't swear, Johnny.
One mustn't swear, Johnny.
It's this idea that some swears are more acceptable to my parents than others that I find the most interesting. I'm coming onto twenty-two now and have only just started bringing in piss and shit into the family home (I know I could have phrased that better but that sentence sounds so good). But it's still very much depends on the context; for example, I have found out that saying, "I'm going for a piss," is deemed crude by my Mum, but saying, "sorry mum I spilt some ketchup on the carpet last night, I was a bit pissed," is seen as a bit cheeky but ultimately an acceptable use of the word piss. If you can see the logic there, please let me know.

Taking God's name in vain is a bit of strange one as well - I am openly atheist to my parents who, technically, are Christians but have never been to a church service for well over twenty years - but if I ever mentioned the son of God just after stubbing my toe I be guaranteed an ear bashing.

As punishment goes, that's as bad as it ever got for me; my parents gave a lot of empty threats, but I've learnt as I got older that little kids swearing is actually quite funny, and that although my parents couldn't openly condone it, they probably found it a bit funny.

The good thing is that by the time I end up having kids I won't have to worry about swear words because they'll be so acceptable Elmo and Big Bird will be teaching pre-schoolers how F is for 'fuck you Cookie Monster you cross-eyed shit'. That's the world I want my children to live in.
 





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