When I was about ten or eleven I was forced to watch the movie “Gone with the Wind”. I know, I know. It’s an epic love story and it’s one of the greatest stories ever told and whatnot, but honestly? I didn’t care for it.

Possibly because I was eleven and still interested in Cabbage Patch Kids and stickers and unicorns and not love stories. I’m not sure. But since I was Southern girl, by God, my mom was going to force me to learn what to look for in a man. Which is apparently Rhett Butler, even though he could be a real prick at times and probably took some liberties with Scarlett that he shouldn’t have. Not that she wasn’t a lying bitch and acted just awful and probably if I knew her, I might punch her in her box.

You never hear that phrase in today's media.  Not in movies or on television.  Not in commercials or in the news.  You never read it in the paper or in a novel.  But they exist, the multi-thousand dollar businesses.  In fact, we're surrounded by them.

They're upstaged by their older, better-looking brother, the multi-million dollar business.  They're so upstaged that they're never mentioned.  Like they're not worth enough to waste oxygen or ink or bytes on.

I took my cat to the vet the other day, and to ease the boredom of the wait, I started to read the ads people put up.  There were a couple of cute puppies being given away, Persians and Poodles for sale, and some ads for doggy sweaters.  The usual.

Then I found this:

There are very few people in the world who are able to do exactly what they want as far as careers are concerned. When I was little I wanted to be a model. Once I realized that I wasn’t pretty enough, I decided that I wanted to be a fashion designer. Then when I was a senior in high school I was in the school play and got a taste of acting. It was then that I decided that I wanted to be an actor. Of course, in-between all of these aspirations were OTHER aspirations, like: an oceanographer, a lawyer, an artist, a writer – really I could go on and on.

Today, as a service to our readers, I present to you the following "Clip N Save" section.

"What the stuffed animals on your dashboard say about you."

Much like people analyze the content of their dreams, I have come up with a way to determine someone's personality by merely looking at the number and type of stuffed animals they have displayed inside their cars.

I know, you've been dying for this stuff.

You're welcome.

Here we go:

***** Cut here *****

I moved to Tennessee in 2004. Within days of moving I knew all about the road construction which was coming to Interstate 40.

It's coming! The highway is falling down around us! Traffic and chaos and turmoil will ensue! Any minute now!

So today? Four years later? They closed an area of the highway. About one mile of the highway, in fact.

And the media? Came out in droves.

“So um, no offense, but…”

Don't you just love those words? I know I do!

In fact, I use them all the time, and I really encourage everyone to use them too. Those five little words can do so much to lessen the negative impact we humans are having on the world around us and they can also greatly reduce the ‘offensive footprint’ we leave as we go through life. 

I went to the doctor the other day.  I showed up fifteen minutes early for my three o'clock appointment.  So I could fill out all the stupid paperwork.

By three, I was ready to be ushered into the back to find out whether or not I should be worried about this nasty rash that popped up out of nowhere.  The rash was down there (pointing south) and Hydrocortisone didn't do jack for me.  So I went to the doctor.

And waited.