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The Boy Child, who never, ever, EVER gets sick? Is sick. |
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Written by That Chick
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Sunday, 02 November 2008 |
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  So I have to take him to the doctor.
And the Boy Child? He's never sick. So he doesn't know how to act at the doctor.
We are in the examining room and the nurse, who has spiky pink hair, takes his temperature and his blood pressure. He's very concerned about what his blood pressure is. He's very concerned with his surrounding and I can see him reading all the posters on the wall.
Finally the doctor comes in. We talk about Boy Child's symptoms. He feels his stomach. He listens to his heart. The works.
Boy Child is very quiet throughout this ordeal until finally, as the doctor is having him breathe in and out, he asks, "What was my blood pressure?"
The doctor looked surprised and then said, "I'm not sure. It's on your chart. I can look if you'd like."
"I'm concerned about ED," Boy Child continued, seriously.
You could have heard a pin drop.
The doctor's face went from confused to shocked to extremely amused.
"Pardon me?"
"ED," Boy Child said. "I'm concerned. I need to make sure my blood pressure is okay so I don't have any problems with ED."
That did it.
The doctor began to laugh. He laughed so hard he began to wheeze. He couldn't catch his breath.
Boy Child looked perplexed.
 "What?" he said. "Mom? What's ED?"
"Erectile dysfunction," I told him.
The doctor? Gasped for air.
"What's that?" asked Boy Child.
"It's when," I pointed at his crotch. "Doesn't work."
"Oh," he said.
The good doctor? Excused himself. I could hear him howling in the hallway. I think he might have been calling his friends so that they could call Reader's Digest with a great story for "All in a Day's Work".
"You mean like pee blood or something?" Boy Child asked.
"Something like that," I told him.
After a few minutes the doctor came back in. His face was red from laughing.
"I'm good," Boy Child told him. "I think I don't have ED."
"Good!" the doctor said heartily. "Come back if you ever do."
He left the room.
"That doctor is a freak," Boy Child told me.
Something like that.
As we left the office I refrained from telling the receptionist that maybe they wanted to consider less suggestive posters in the examining rooms.
I thought about it though. |
